Tuesday, April 7, 2026

The Sunshine Shoals Gazette

"All the News That's Fit to Regret"

Meth-Addled Burglar Accidentally Locks Himself in Community Pool Equipment Room

An unnamed suspect was found unconscious inside a padlocked pool maintenance shed after apparently breaking in to steal copper wiring. Responding officers discovered he had consumed an entire box of chlorine tablets and was wearing nothing but a deflated pool float as clothing.