Tuesday, April 7, 2026

The Sunshine Shoals Gazette

"All the News That's Fit to Regret"

Florida Man Builds Fully Functional Airboat Using Only Duct Tape and Lawn Furniture

Local eccentric Harold Simmons successfully constructed a seaworthy airboat using nothing more than six plastic lawn chairs, industrial-strength duct tape, and a riding lawnmower engine, then proceeded to navigate the local swamplands without incident. Marine patrol officers were too impressed to issue a citation.