Tuesday, April 7, 2026

The Sunshine Shoals Gazette

"All the News That's Fit to Regret"

Aggressive HOA President Declares War on Neighborhood Lawn Decoration Standards

Herbert Kleinschmidt, president of the Pelican Pointe Homeowners Association, has begun personally removing any lawn decorations he deems "aesthetically offensive," resulting in a neighborhood-wide turf war involving garden gnomes, flamingos, and increasingly elaborate passive-aggressive notes. Local police have been called three times to mediate disputes involving topiary disputes and unauthorized lawn ornament removals.