Tuesday, April 7, 2026

The Sunshine Shoals Gazette

"All the News That's Fit to Regret"

Artifact Smuggler Uncle Jimbo Caught by Federal Agents

Uncle Jimbo Alvarez thought selling fake timeshares to midwestern tourists would be foolproof until a sinkhole spontaneously appeared during his presentation, swallowing his display boards and revealing the exact location was an abandoned phosphate mining zone. The potential buyers actually applauded what they assumed was an immersive sales demonstration.